Chatter, chatter

My friend pointed out to me that I tend to have varying opinions on my stance regarding homosexuality. And she is totally, completely right. I do waver. Ha--more than that, I change my mind every day regarding what I think. Here's what I know I believe:

 I do not waver on gay marriage- I strongly hold the opinion that the church and the state should be very separated. The two should NOT intermingle. And in that sense, gay marriage absolutely should be legal because I demand that our government treat everyone as equals. How dare they not? What are they teaching the citizens if our government deems that certain classes are unworthy of equal rights? So as a citizen, I do not waver on the issue of gay marriage.

As a Christian, I refuse REFUSE to waver on the issue of L. O. V. E. Because that's what matters. Whether it's legal or not, whether it's a sin or not, I really don't know that it matters in the long run. I think what matters is love. It sounds so simple, and yet it's really not. It's not my job to judge, it's not my job to label something a sin in someone else. It's my job to love someone and to glorify the awesomeness inside of them because God created them. God created that person. And God does not want me to hate any of His creations. So I sit, think about all sorts of things and I try to love. I say "try" for a reason: it's not easy to love something that I don't understand. It's not easy to love something that doesn't make sense to me, something that I am so utterly confused about. It's hard. Love is HARD. Because love isn't saying "Hey man, I love you." Love is reaching out to people. Love is showing with my actions and my heart that I care about them and their struggle- that everything, even the things that I don't understand, about that person matters to me. And that's hard. I think that there's a reason that Jesus highlighted love as the most important commandment: because it's the most difficult. I spend so much time thinking about how I can avoid sin, how I can obey my parents and still be true to my god, how I can follow the ten commandments. How much time do I spend thinking about how I show my love to my friends and to strangers? Sadly, very little. Such an important commandment, the most important commandment, that I spend most of my time ignoring. What a sad state my heart is in. So I sit here, and beg God to change me. I beg Him to show me how I can love His creations more, and how I can demonstrate that love. And I accept that I have to take responsibility. For my actions, and my feelings. I can spend all the time I want in prayer asking God to change me. But if I want change to happen, I have to get out there and do it. God will be there to help me and guide me, but I have to use my hands, use my feet, and use my mouth to make things happen. I trust that God will work through me, but I have to get out there and do the work.