the calm before the storm

These last few weeks have been intense. I've been so incredibly busy. School and work during the day and then work and/or meetings virtually every single night. Plus midterms mean tests, projects, stress, and some more stress. Big sigh of relief that all of that has passed. Now I am trying to soak in some clam before the storm hits again because, believe me, baby, it's gonna hit. And it's gonna hit hard. I'm already looking into the future and seeing more group projects that have yet to be started, essays that have yet to be thought about, tests that have yet to be studied for. This semester has been much more difficult for me than most. The content of my classes is no harder than before. In fact, in many ways, it's easier. The classes I am taking are mostly conceptual. They're not hard work mentally. I do, however, have a serious case of the Seniors. I am just plain tired. I try to give thanks for my education and I am so incredibly grateful that a) I have the opportunity to go to college, b) I am generally successful in college and c) I genuinely enjoy learning and attending school. This is harder some days than others. Or should I say years. I'm tired. I'm tired of school. The last few weeks in particular have honed in on exactly how close graduation is coming and I'm so ready for it. I have struggled to stay focused and interested in what I'm learning. Studying has become nearly impossible because I stay motivated. I have worked hard to have good grades thus far and I would like them to stay that way but I often find myself thinking, A 'B' will be fine. A 'C' even. So long as I pass, nothing else matters. I don't love that mentality. In my former youth group, we talked once about how God desires excellence from us. I love that God loves me unconditionally. That's one of my favorite things about the Big Guy, in fact. But, just as any loving Father would, He wants me to be all that I can. And I strongly desire to please God. It's difficult, but I'm trying. I am praying that these few weeks of calm will reignite my motivation and help me get some momentum coming. And if it doesn't...well lots more prayer will be in order!