the calm before the storm

These last few weeks have been intense. I've been so incredibly busy. School and work during the day and then work and/or meetings virtually every single night. Plus midterms mean tests, projects, stress, and some more stress. Big sigh of relief that all of that has passed. Now I am trying to soak in some clam before the storm hits again because, believe me, baby, it's gonna hit. And it's gonna hit hard. I'm already looking into the future and seeing more group projects that have yet to be started, essays that have yet to be thought about, tests that have yet to be studied for. This semester has been much more difficult for me than most. The content of my classes is no harder than before. In fact, in many ways, it's easier. The classes I am taking are mostly conceptual. They're not hard work mentally. I do, however, have a serious case of the Seniors. I am just plain tired. I try to give thanks for my education and I am so incredibly grateful that a) I have the opportunity to go to college, b) I am generally successful in college and c) I genuinely enjoy learning and attending school. This is harder some days than others. Or should I say years. I'm tired. I'm tired of school. The last few weeks in particular have honed in on exactly how close graduation is coming and I'm so ready for it. I have struggled to stay focused and interested in what I'm learning. Studying has become nearly impossible because I stay motivated. I have worked hard to have good grades thus far and I would like them to stay that way but I often find myself thinking, A 'B' will be fine. A 'C' even. So long as I pass, nothing else matters. I don't love that mentality. In my former youth group, we talked once about how God desires excellence from us. I love that God loves me unconditionally. That's one of my favorite things about the Big Guy, in fact. But, just as any loving Father would, He wants me to be all that I can. And I strongly desire to please God. It's difficult, but I'm trying. I am praying that these few weeks of calm will reignite my motivation and help me get some momentum coming. And if it doesn't...well lots more prayer will be in order! 

Awesome/Awkward #3

Awesome: Getting to talk to Rachel on the phone
Awkward: Getting into an argument :(

Awesome: Getting a promotion at work!
Even more awesome: My supervisor is announcing it at our staff meeting on Sunday
Awkward: I won't be at the staff meeting
Even more awkward: I thought that it was supposed to be confidential for a few more months! 

Awesome: Sam's coming home this weekend!
Awkward: He's coming in late Saturday night and staying through Wednesday...while I'm stuck in Flagstaff
Awesome: I talked to my professors and they're letting me skip class on Monday
Awkward: I totally used my brother's deployment to get out of class on Monday lol

Awkward: Having my professor ask me to stay after class
Even more awkward: Having to wait for-flipping-ever for him to finish up conversations with other students before he would talk to me
Most awkward of all: I had NO idea what was going on and was super nervous!
Awesome: I have the highest grade in his class out of both sections!
Back to awkward: Having to explain to my friends why the prof asked me to stay after class

Awesome: Going to a Halloween kickback at my friend's house
Awkward: I was the ONLY person there not involved in Greek life!
Even more awesome: Everyone was really nice and made sure that I felt totally welcome. It was super fun and my friend had made all kinds of Pinterest snacks that turned out awesome.

Awkward: Ashley not responding to my texts for a week
Even more awkward: Wracking my brain trying to figure out why she was upset with me!
Awesome: She was responding but for some reason the texts weren't coming through!
Super awkward: She couldn't figure out why I was having a weird, seemingly one-sided conversation with her that didn't mesh with her responses at all hahaha

Awesome: Getting the Blogger app for my phone
Awkward: It's super crappy.
Awesome: I still managed to put together a couple of posts
Ghetto: It didn't post any of them and now they're lost forever :( 

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Snowy Day

It's crazy, but we already had our first snow! It has since melted off but I was able to go to Snowbowl with a friend and snap a few pictures of the first snow fall. It was intensely beautiful. I wish that I had thought to bring a real camera with me...and also that I was better at taking pictures. But I figure something is better than nothing.

Photo Dump!

Okay...it's a weak photo dump! But hopefully I'll get better (:

Mojito Monday!

Flagstaff is SO confused about what the weather is supposed to be right now. This tree is green, yellow, and red...

Twilight is my Guilty Pleasure

So for some reason, whenever I'm extra stressed, I feel a strange urge (read: I CANNOT RESIST) watching and/or reading Twilight. The book is terrible. The movie's even worse. I 100% know and accept this. And yet I have watched the movie easily 15 times and read the book...probably twice that. Seriously, that's not an exaggeration. Rachel used to say all the time, "Again?!" but she'd sit down and watch with me, so it's okay. I try to tell myself that there are worse stress relievers. I could smoke or shoot up crack (is that a thing? I think so.) or...who knows what else. Relatively speaking, this isn't a bad guilty pleasure. But dang, it's so terrible. Which is why I'm watching it right now, while I study for my multiple exams tomorrow. Stress. Twilight. More stress.

Wordless Wednesday

Awesome/Awkward #2

Awesome: Doing a photoshoot with my friend Gina
Awkward: I had to get at at 5:30am for it.
Even more awkward: We took the pictures in the snow and I was wearing a sleeveless dress...it was SO cold that I couldn't stay still for more than 30 seconds at a time
Awesome: She gave me a sneak peek of the photos and they are amazing. She's so talented!

Awesome: Getting hit on by strangers.
Awkward: Getting hit on by strangers.

Awkward: Sleeping in late and almost missing class
Awesome: Getting an email right before class started saying it had been canceled!
Even More Awkward: I was already on the way to class.
Even More Awesome: I went and got breakfast instead!

Awesome: Getting to go home two weekends in a row
Awkward: I got so bored of driving that I started talking to myself in the car...without realizing it!

Awesome: Going to my cousin's wedding shower
Awkward: My uncle's ex-wife stirring up a slew of family drama
Even More Awkward: I accidentally started my own bit of family drama without realizing it!


Awkward: Zoning out in class
Even More Awkward: Being called out for it by my professor! 

Awkward: Writing a story for my creative writing class that I completely HATED. Seriously. It was awful. Really terrible.
Even More Awkward: Dreading workshop for a full week, knowing that my story was terrible.
Awesome: The class (prof included) actually loved it!
Still Awkward: I still hate it.

Awesome: Talking to Rachel, either via facebook, email, SnapChat, or Skype, everyday.
Awkward: Some of our messages randomly don't send due to my crappy internet here and her spotty internet there.

Awesome: Getting to work at the pool last weekend
Awkward: Having to explain to all of my guards that I wouldn't be coming back next summer
Not Sure if Awkward or Awesome: Everyone is working really hard trying to convince me to stay.

Yay...or not.

I was SO excited because I finally found a community group with my church that (I thought) worked with my schedule. I found the leader and I asked to join and it was going to be perfect--they eat dinner together and then sit and talk, either about something specific or what's happening in their lives. Doesn't that sound awesome? Well...apparently I did not look far enough ahead at my schedule because I work during the next 4 or 5 times that they meet! Bum deal. I am still going to persevere though! Last week I went to Newman Night with my friend and it was a surprisingly good time. It's hosted by the Catholic Church and there was a big group, about 50 people, and everyone had dinner together and then there was a talk. This time they brought in a nurse who has actually witnessed live abortions. She shared her stories, which were terrible sad and eye-opening. Overall, it was very interesting and I had a great time meeting people! Hopefully next month my work schedule will clear up a bit so that I can go to my new community group. If not, I'm on the hunt again!

My People

There are some people in my life that all I can do is simply thank God every day that they're there and do my absolute best to make sure they stay. The Reich family is that for me! I've known Laura for almost my entire lifetime and was lucky enough to gain Joe as a friend when they got married. Even luckier still, I have been able to welcome all five of their kids into the world and gained some more miniature friends!

 We're not very good at taking pictures together...but it's because we're always too busy having fun hanging out!

Wordless Wednesday

Okay...so I'm not actually going to go wordless. However! I have really fallen in love with all of the quotes on Pinterest and the cute/creative ways that people display them. So I am going to try and share one each week for a Wordless Wednesday that I either love or feel like exemplifies what's happening in my life at that point in time. I'm just so obsessed with them! I hope that y'all enjoy them as much as I do.

Awesome/Awkward #1

So I'm stealing Joanna's Awesome/Awkward because I love it so much (:

Awesome: Going home to visit my mom, even if it was only for one night
Awkward: Meeting her at my old high school, during a football game
Even more awkward: Watching her sell tickets and give out the wrong change to people!
Most awkward of all: Taking over selling tickets for her
Awesome: Seeing my mom and her coworker's faces drop watching me count out $3,000 in under five minutes
Awkward again: Feeling like a professional ticket seller

Awesome: My friend showing me a website that lets you save YouTube (music) videos
Awkward: Feeling like a thief every time I listen to one of the songs
Even more awkward: I still do it!
Awesome: All my favorite songs are on my iTunes 

Awesome: My friend taking me with him to YoungLife
Awkward: Feeling so out of place that I ended up leaving right in the middle
Even more awesome: Him being super nice and understanding about it 
Slightly less awkward: Having to tell the whole office what happened because they knew we went...
Super awesome: Him a) standing up for me and b) still wanting to be my friend lol

(Sidenote: Apparently after I left, they called up three random guys and three random girls to the front. They had the guys sit down on chairs at the front of the room, and then had the girls sit on their laps. They then told the girls they had two options: they could make out with the guys for 5 seconds or have a cup of water dumped on their heads! Umm, what?! Can you say inappropriate?! Even my friend (a 21 year old, super socially adjusted male) was pretty scandalized) 

Awesome: I love my new church!
Awkward: I've been going there two months now and still don't have any friends
Even more awkward: I went to an event to try and make friends and ended up crying because I was sad that I had no friends
Awesome: there's a small group that works with my schedule!
Awkward: it took me WEEKS to figure out the best way to ask if I could join the group
Even more awkward: they're not even meeting right now, so it was all for naught
Awesome: my church is really quite fantastic

Awesome: Getting a perfect score on an essay exam
Awkward: The professor using my essay, on the overhead, to give the class a good example
Even more awkward: A friend from the class recognizing my handwriting!

Awkward: Turning in a story for creative writing that I hated but didn't have enough time to fix
Awesome: The whole class loved it!
Even more awkward: They want me to write more on the topic (that I still hate)

Awesome: Getting Instagram and lovin' it!
Awkward: The heater in our dorm is broken.
(Okay, I know those aren't related...oh well!)

Cut Off

Waiting for the bus, sitting on the way to class, waiting for classes to start, and in between classes, I was amazed by the amount of people talking about the government shutdown. And by amount, I'm referencing the lack thereof. I did not hear a single person talking to their friends about the hundreds of thousands of people that are furloughed for the foreseeable future. It is fascinating to me that in a generation that is inundated by technology and media, we are more cut off from the world than ever before. My peers, and often myself, are so consumed with our own lives and our own happenings that we forget to look up and look around.

Several mass killings of Christians have taken place in the past few weeks. 85 men, women, and children were killed coming out of a church in Pakistan. 72 non-Muslims were killed in a mall Nairobi, Kenya (these people were held at gunpoint and asked if there were non-Muslims or Christians. If they answered in the affirmative, they were killed immediately). In Egypt, dozens of Christian churches (58) and Christian owned businesses (>160) have been attacked in persecution efforts going on since 2003. The list goes on and on and on. These are our brothers and sisters. How are we supposed to mourn our brothers and sisters if we don't even know what's going on?

I'm guilty of the same self-centered tendencies. I've been known to choose New Girl over the news because I don't want to be bummed out. It's much, much easier to live out comfortable lives, blissfully unaware of what's going on around us, down the street or across the world. But that doesn't eradicate the fact that there are things going on around the world that we should be aware of. I don't want to forget that my brothers and sisters are hurting, are dying, are freezing and starving. I can't live my life in a constant state of misery, nor do I think that that is what we are called to do, but I can be aware. I can offer up a prayer for them. I can, at the very least, recognize how very blessed I am every. single. day. I don't want to be cut off from the world, even if it's sad or hard. Even if I feel completely and wholly powerless.

Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me int he day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. -Psalm 50:14-15

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem! May they be secure who love you! -Psalm 122:6

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all whoa re in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. -1 Timothy 2:1-2