Why "No Boys Allowed"

Well. There's a simple explanation, really. It goes something like this: for Lent, I gave up boys. Actually, I gave up Sins of the Flesh, though I am primarily focusing on lust. There's really simple reasoning behind it actually: I want God to be in charge of my life and I want God to write my love story. God placed inside of me an incredibly strong desire to fall in love and be married and have children. Although I absolutely love that part of myself, it's difficult to be single and have to deal with that part of myself. I am constantly on the prowl for a guy that I deem could be my perfect life partner. You might think no big, right? Huge big. I have a tendency to look at a guy and before even knowing his name, I imagine our entire life together: how he's going to propose to me, what we will name our future children, etc. It's a lot ridiculous actually. And that's not what I want for myself, and I'm pretty sure not what God wants for me, either, otherwise it would have worked out for myself. In being incapable of looking at guys without trying to fall in love with them, I am totally closing off a huge portion of our potential. That boy could be a potential brother in Christ. Or a potential best friend, or study buddy, or he could be absolutely nothing to me at all. And I am missing out on that by trying to morph a total and complete stranger into my perfect mate. And here's the thing. I really and truly believe that my perfect mate it out there, already, waiting for me as impatiently as I am waiting for him. But what we're both really waiting on is for God to tell us: "That's him. That's my one. That's the person that God wants me to spend my life with. That's the person that is going to constantly challenge me as a Christian, who I'm going to grow closer to Christ with, and who is going to help me build a God-centered family." No, I don't think that it's going to be a *ping* moment quite like that, but I do think that when He's ready, God is going to put that special person in my life and that we will know. Maybe not right away, in a moment of lighting insight. But we will know, because God will tell us.


For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

So I'm trying to trust in God. I say try because it's hard. Really, really hard. I am a total and complete control freak. So the thought of sitting back and letting God totally take over any aspect, especially one that's so important to me, is really terrifying. Let it be known that I am a work in progress! 


Over and out.